A month has past since that last post and I have decided now is a good time to post again.
So, I am in North Carolina. Working/training/wondering what I am doing here, but that is a different story. I arrived about a week and a half ago and was completely miserable. In all of the business that I was thrown in with this new job, I had to figure out a way to make new friends. I had forgotten how difficult it was to make new friends, considering I haven't really had to do it in four years. All of the staff that was here when I got here knew each other. They had all grown up at this camp and had worked here for years. It is an awkward situation to be in that position, but I handled it the best I could.
There were many times where I cried myself to sleep, cried on the phone and then just cried because I was worn down and tired. But I knew I had to pick myself up and go with what I was dealt. Which was a big task at first. I believe that now I have sufficiently forced myself into thier group and am becoming more and more comfortable.
There are moments that my heart sinks because I miss all of my family and friends so much, but I know that there is something bigger here that I have yet to discover. Being around girls around the same age as you 24/7 does get slightly uncomfortable, because I am not used to it, but I am ready to buckle down and rock hardcore.
Being here has taught me to rely on Jesus more than I have ever known. This relationship is nothing like I have ever known and is like a friend that I get to carry around all the time. I don't have a church to go to or a Wednesday service to attend, and so I have to rely on myself to grow closer with Him and pour into others. I have found really awesome ways to minister. Whether it's a ministry shirt, or an open conversation about religion, or a topic where I get to tell about my college experiences with all of my friends. All have been times where all of these topics have been addressed and everyone has been really fascinated by the fact that I am so involved with my relationship with God throughout my college career.
I am learning what it means to lead, be independant yet rely on others, and to rely fully on my God. It was something that I had been slacking in recently, but now there is nothing really to distract me from Jesus all around.
Yes, this is corny and my small experiences, but I love them.
:)
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2 comments:
Brianna, it makes me soo happy to see that you are doing better! I've been worried about you ever since we talked on the phone that one night. I'm glad to see things turning around for you. I can't wait to get to talk to you on the phone and hear all the stories myself. I know I might have to wait a while til you get the chance to call, and that it okay. If calling is not a good option, WRITE! lol LOVE YOU :) -Christiann
so I am amazed by your spirit and growth each and everytime I hear you speak. and then I get excited that you are still my best friend four years later. hang in there! you are making friends!!! I am ready to talk again when you can. i am thinking about children and marriage, just so you know. simply to have a conversation piece so I can have friends too. miss you
LOVE> Kay
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