Wednesday, Wednesday

1. so after a frustrating time of having my test cancelled on Thursday and then worrying about it all day on Wednesday, Bible study that night was a nice little caveot from what was going on.

1 Corintians 1:16

Jesus didn't choose the people that had it all together, but instead He chose the people that necessarily didn't have it all together at the time. He used them for great things.

in general this is the message: just because you screwed up doesn't mean that God won't use you to do great things in the Kingdom. you have to realize and embrace the greatness inside of you in order to fully grasp the plan that He has for your life.

2. that's cool and all, but it didn't hit me until i read my Bible last night and then was listening to some worship music in my bed when i started crying like a baby.

Tenth Avenue North: By Your Side - behold the greatness of these lyrics
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

'Cause I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
(Chorus 2x)

Cause I,
I love you
I want you to know
That I,
I love you
I'll never let you go

so in bed i am now crying, because this spoke straight to me. picture God standing over you and singing this straight to your heart. why wouldn't i go for my call? why would i doubt what is going on? why would i doubt His power in my life? why wouldn't i give everything up, just to love and serve Him?

i can't fight it anymore. i have to do it now. i have to find someway to live for You each day, more and more. i can't die inside anymore. i hate feeling unfulfilled. it needs to change.