in the middle.

for some reason there is always a point in my life where i feel like i am in the middle of two things.

here are my current stressful examples:
between school and a real job
between loving God and dealing with my old self
between wanting to love and not wanting to get hurt
between passing tax and being 3 hours short of the CPA
between crying and putting on a face for everyone
between understanding basis and screwing it up for FMV
between letting go of my pride and picking it back up because it's comfortable
between doing homework and not feeling stupid
between fulfilling my destiny and being scared that i won't live up to expectations
between loving God and dealing with my old self
between loving God and dealing with my old self.

today being in the middle of passing tax and being 3 hours short of the CPA rose up in me when i was talking to my tax professor. i cried....in his office. it's not a fun feeling when the "fight or flight" reaction comes up and all i wanted to do was run when the only thing i could do was stay to try to understand what the heck was going on in that class and fight the tears as hard as i could. there is something about being in the middle that makes me want to grow in God as exponentially as i can at that moment, but then something rises in me that says 'what can He do?' to that side of me i respond with:

"Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you" 1 Peter 7:9

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " Phil 4: 6-7

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33